read labels. always. always. always.Posted: June 16, 2011 | Author: rachel | Filed under: enemy list | 1 Comment »
here’s a lesson i can’t seem to learn: always read labels on packaged food. always. always remember you’re never safe if you don’t. ever. you’ve learned that lesson. more than once.
i.e. a month ago, when i didn’t read the label on some bean dip and ate it all day, only to double-over with a massive stomach ache for a total of 8 hours. then i checked the label: whey. awesome bean dip: no wonder you were creamy.
i.e. 2 weeks ago when i ate these. two of them. thinking they were made from rice because they popped out of this ridiculous machine at wegmans and, well, they looked like very large flat things made of rice. #1 on ingredient list: whole wheat flour. #2: wheat flour. label Warning: contains gluten. i was in the middle of biting into my second one when my friend started reading the ingredient list out loud with a look of horror on her face. i tried to save myself by attempting to throw up the dry, tasteless discs of wheat, but all i got up was some spit.
i.e. tonight, when i split one of these tasty bars with my sister. in my excitement to try something new, i went straight for the crispy chocolate and took two heavenly bites. i then started writing a post for this blog about sugar and how i avoid it and how much of it i tend not to avoid it when i’m visiting my sugar-loving gluten, wheat, soy, and dairy-intolerant sister. while typing, i picked up the package and read the ingredient list.
ingredient list: milk chocolate coating (sugar, cocoa butter, skim milk powder, cocoa mass, anhydrous milk fat, whey powder, soy lechthin, natural flavor, vanilla), sugar, palm oil, etc etc, whey powder, etc etc.
Warning: Contains milk, soy, and tree nuts.
My sister’s response to this new knowledge: “Wow, so that’s why I’ve felt kinda gross after eating those last week…”
Dear Schar Gluten-Free Chocolate Hazelnut Bars,
Welcome to the enemy list. I really hope I don’t throw up your crispy chocolate goodness tonight. I hope you don’t hurt, no matter what end you come out tomorrow. I hate your processed-dessert pretty yellow packaging and all it’s contents. I don’t care that you’re Europe’s #1 gluten-free snack. We had a short-lived, 4 minute love affair before I realized you were full of evil and whey. It’s over.
It’s not you. It’s me.
I’m not good at being friends after, so goodbye is goodbye.