sugar. honey honey.

i’m not really a candy girl. any more. mainly because: i rarely eat sugar unless i bake (which is almost never); a lot of candy has gluten and/or dairy in it; and candy that is gluten/dairy free is usually packed with soy and other ingredients i’d only eat if i google all of them first because i have no idea what they are. (this last fact scares me away from most processed foods.)


i’ve given up sugar more than once in my digestive journey (scope out the restore diet category and you’ll get all the gross details) and i’ll admit that giving up refined sugar isn’t all that hard once you get used to it. however, giving up natural sugars is another thing entirely. it’s hard. it’s particularly hard if you like the following things: wine, fruit, honey, wine, and more wine.

my gym is doing a new year 30 day challenge and although this might sound snobby, when i first heard it was only for 30 days i thought: amateur. i’ve given up all cheese, ice cream, milk, sugar, grains, soy, chips, beer/booze, french fries, eating out, and basically anything with a label that contains more than 2-3 ingredients. and i’ve done it for years. (heading into year 4 of no dairy and no beer. seriously people. i haven’t had a beer or a piece of cheddar in 4 years.) i realize saying this on my blog makes me sound like a total snob.

but i’m going to admit that the last 10 days have been really really hard for me. hard because we had to list publicly what we were giving up during the challenge and we were encouraged to make those things hard to give up. given my dietary limitations, i had to think hard about this. i decided on the following three things: no refined sugar, no more than 2 cups of coffee a day, and no more than 4 alcoholic beverages a week.

needless to say, i had a total meltdown yesterday and almost cried because i was stressed out and  wanted to eat a brownie. i really felt like i needed to eat a brownie. the kind they sell at my local coffee shop that’s gluten and dairy free and full of fudgy-awesomeness.


i managed to leave the coffee shop with only a coffee.
i didn’t mangage to not drink wine in the evening. or the evening before. or the evening before that. or the evening before that.
this 30 day challenge is making me realize a few things:
1. when i’m having a meltdown, i want to eat baked foods because it’s comfort food to me. it reminds me of my mother, who baked for me my entire life. and it feels good to eat it.
2. i drink wine at least 5 nights a week. it’s only a glass of wine. but i drink it. and i enjoy it. i don’t think there’s anything wrong with this fact. however, i do think it throws off my sleep, which i’d like to avoid.
3. turns out i rarely drink more than 2 cups of coffee a day anyway, so no biggie. maybe i should limit it to 1? eh.
4. i want to learn to cook and bake and eat entirely refined sugar-free. my sister already does this. very successfully. i want to be like her.

last night, i made paleo brownies. i was pretty skeptical about them tasting all that grand, but i was pleasantly surprised with this recipe. they were moist, solid, fudgy, not very sweet, and tasted great with a little bit of peanut butter on top of them.

i’ve decided this year that one of my goals will be to figure out the perfect gluten, dairy, soy, refined-sugar free brownie.
this is take one.
send me any recipes you find and i promise to make and share.





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